Happy New Year Dear, It's Over!

     The week between Christmas and New Years is not only the year that a number of us celebrate Kwanza. It is also a time of year that we reflect over the old year and make plans and goals over the New Year. Some people have the tradition to spring clean during this time and on New Years’ Day have one window open to reflect the airing out the old from last year.  This tradition in the southern United States is just as routine as eating black eyed peas for good luck.  The symbolic gestures along with the planning for the New Year can be very healthy. Some people make the decision to watch their weight go on a diet and work out. Another thing would be to make a budget for the upcoming year. Looking at were money was wasted and where you can more wisely spend your money for the upcoming year is a good thing that one does. 

       This is also the time of year that a lot of relationships end. People look at the end of the year and the starting of a new year as a fresh start. A time to have a clean slate; However if one decides to make this type of a decision, you should not make this decision with haste.  An emotional decision that is made without thinking it well through could make you full of regrets in the long run.

      Relationships are work; you have to compromise and not think of yourself as an individual and put another person into consideration.   Every decision that you make need to be with both in mind. In a relationship you are building upon a team. Being in a relationship is the single most unselfish move that one person can make. It is the loosing of self and the discovery of a new being. In the Bible, it states that " the two shall become one flesh."  Even though this is not literal but spiritually and emotionally if it is true love this does happen in every since of the word. You cannot go into a relationship being selfish and feeling that it is all about you.

     On the other hand one should not be in a relationship when they are not being made to feel good about themselves. One should not accept abuse be it verbal, physical or emotional; allowing you to experience these things is a sin against self. Even though it is easy to talk about it than to solve issues that are complex, be aware that mostly nearly all of the time when there are problems it is about someone's pathology. When a person does not treat you right, it is about them more than it is about you. They are a broken person about things that was not reconciled long before they met you.  And if someone is expressing to you how they feel you are treating them most of the time it is about your issues whether you are blind to it are not.  There are four parts of every person. The part of the person that we see and everyone else see. The other part is the part that everyone else see's but we are blind to it ourselves. The side that we see and no one else see's. And the side that neither we see or no one else see's. It is important that all of the sides to ourselves should be explored.

      Whatever decision that we make in reference to matters of the heart, make sure that these decisions are made wisely and thought out. The problem started well before New Years. The decision to end something or work on a relationship should be made calmly and not while you are on a high about life events. Regardless of what decision you make, always remember that tomorrow isn’t promised. We live in the here and now, in time and space. So we should live life to the full today.